2012-2013 were some of the darkest days I've ever experienced, or as my sister says, "the year the locust ate." I had a pretty intense heartbreak that I've mentioned a few times here and there, and really wasn't sure if I would emotionally survive. Now, looking back, I am completely astounded by the work my Jesus has done. He has not only re-shaped and redefined me, but He has taken my brokenness, my hopelessness, my doubt, my confusion, and turned it into something surreal. Freeing. Sometimes I lay in bed at night just thanking Him for His mercy, drawn to tears by His Grace. Life is so beautiful.
I have joy again.
I have peace again.
I have excitement and a yearning for new and better things.
My motto is "expect nothing." In these last few years I have learned what it truly, honestly means to surrender to Christ. To take each day and give it to Him. Easy to say, not so easy to live, and I've been knocked down, again and again. I am not arrived and never will be, but I have grown.
I'm more confident.
I know who I am and I'm not afraid.
I have matured and am shaping into the person He has always desired me to be.
And that, my friends, is the most thrilling feeling in all the world.
2015. . .I love you already. So far you have been filled with friends both old and new, many opened doors, laughter, singing, and promises of new beginnings. Already your blank page is smattered by happy times--and goodness--I can't even imagine what will happen next. I'm excited and a little sentimental as I prepare to leave for over a month, working my second year on a costume team for a highschool play. Last time--Beauty and the Beast (favorite story in the history of ever!)--this time, The Wizard of Oz. It was an experience that completely changed my life. . .living in a house with 20+ girls, working through sleeplessness, crazy hours, illness, joy misunderstanding, general craziness, tears, and memories that will last a lifetime. Yes. I think its safe to say I'm excited to be welcomed back into the costume-team family! ❤
Last but not least, I have so many goals for this year. . .its a little overwhelming. First and foremost, as soon as I get home I need a job. I am also working on a pet-project to expand my ministry to homeschool grads, and I'm pretty sure the 2015 event will be the best one of them all. :) Its crazy, because I've dreamed of going into full-time ministry for years, and now, with enough support. . .I think that passion may become a reality.
Happy New Year.
"It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing, this shadow. . .even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think Mr. Frodo, I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something."
"What are we holding onto, Sam?"
"That there's some good in the world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."